Jumping on the Autor bandwagon...

[swordsncarrots.livejournal.com]

There's just been so much Autor-ness going on here lately, and Haleysings' ficlets have inspired me to write a one-sided Autor/Rue fic. It's pretty crappy, but I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into writing  it ( but I didn't stab my hand, god no). And voila!

A/N: This takes place shortly after the end of the anime. For a plothole, Ahiru is a human again. But that really isn't relevant to the story. This is one-sided Autor/Rue, with hints of Fakir/Ahiru and Mytho/Rue. Please enjoy and critique!

*- I put an asterisk here because it's a reference to my friend Puchiko2's Princess Tutu doujinshi. I just couldn't resist Autor saying that ^^

Without further a due...

 

There she was, standing at the top of the staircase, looking as gorgeous as ever. Her rich, velvety hair was shining healthily, and her smile creased to the corners of her eyes, giving them a dark and mischievous, yet charming sort of twinkle.

            This was one of those times when Autor wanted to stab himself for noticing such meticulous details. He took such pride in his obnoxious, nit-picky observations of the world, but right now he really wished he could just be like everyone else. To just be like her.

            To be ignorant.

            Autor didn’t know why he had agreed to go visit Mytho’s castle with Fakir and Ahiru. He really had no personal attachment to the prince, and he knew it would break his heart to see Rue with her… true love. Yet, he ached to see her. He ached every day for her, and he so desperately wished the aching would just stop. Mytho had chosen her, he had acknowledged her love, and he had loved her back. He smiled weakly, watching Mytho lead Rue down the staircase to greet them, both looking quite content with their lives.

            “Thank you very much for coming to visit us,” Mytho greeted his friends in his calm tone, as always.

            “Our pleasure,” Fakir smiled back as he shook his hand.

            “You look so beautiful, Rue-san! You and Mytho make such a good couple!” Ahiru piped in with her chipper voice.

            Rue smirked.

            Autor felt dizzy and tried to look away. He was confused as to how he felt, should he feel happy for her or should he be bitter? How would he greet her? Would she even remember who he was? Or was he just that annoying, creepy boy with the unreadable glasses?

            Finally, he managed to stammer, “G-greetings, Rue-San. It’s nice to see that you are looking quite good and healthy…”

            She didn’t say anything and averted her eyes away.

            He looked like such an idiot.

            There was a long, awkward silence.

            “Would you like me to show you around the castle?” Mytho asked.

            “Yes! Definitely! It’s so gorgeous, Mytho!” Ahiru looked quite excited.

            Autor sighed. Sometimes he envied Ahiru. She was so…selfless. Even after Mytho couldn’t return her feelings, she moved on. She defied her role in the story, and she found comfort in Fakir. Although this wasn’t necessarily a good thing for Autor when he would go searching for Fakir to consult him on his research and find him upstairs making out with Ahiru against his wardrobe, exhausted and wet-lipped.          

            It wasn’t about passion. It was about being lucky.

            Autor walked cautiously through the grand hallways, both listening to the others and observing the artwork that adorned the walls. If he was feeling like his usual self, he would’ve immediately spurted out what threads were used to weave the tapestries, or how old Drosselemeyer would have been when the picture of the little girl with the frog hanging across from them was made. It felt odd, for a change, that he could appreciate things without expressing it in words.

            Which is why he failed.

            Autor soon realized that he was spacing out, and found himself in a room that was lacking people.

            “Rude!”* He pushed up his glasses.

            “ Sure, Autor’s not important. Leave him behind. As always.”

            Autor wandered off through the corridors, searching desperately for something to analyze so he wouldn’t let his mind wander off elsewhere. He spent a good (what he would like to say as) thirty minutes in the castle library, when it had really been three hours.

            “That’s odd, why is the sun setting?” Autor peered out of the now darkened stain glass windows.

            “It’s past five o’clock. They were searching for you. Dinner has been prepared.”

            Autor felt his heart pulsate as he found Rue standing a meter behind him.

            “R-Rue-san!”

            He looked like such an idiot again.

            She glanced away as she began to walk towards the door.

            “Wait! I want to talk to you!”

            Twitch. Pause. Awkward silence.

            Crap. What was he doing?

            “Ever since I came here, you’ve been ignoring me.”

            Well, no duh. Even that dumb, slack-jawed brunette boy that Autor always saw around school could have figured that out.

            She didn’t say anything.

            Autor gulped, and continued on.

            “You do remember me, don’t you?”

            “Of course I do.” Rue shot him a confused look.

            “ Do you remember what I said to you when I met you?”

            Rue’s eyes widened for a split second, conflicting between looking towards the ceiling or the floor.

            Autor didn’t know why he was doing this.

            “W-well, I still mean what I said. My feelings…haven’t changed… I think about you nearly every day.”

            This is a married woman. And she loves Mytho.

            Rue bit her lip.

            “I would do anything for you, Rue. I know you love Mytho, and I know you are happy with him…but, I would still do anything for you. Do you know that?”

            Fear.

            “ I tried to stop loving you after you left the story with Mytho…I thought you would disappear from my mind just as you had from the rest of the village… but, I just couldn’t stop. My emotions were just too strong. I-”

            “Just shut up!” Rue screamed at the top of her lungs, fear paralyzing her eyes as if she were screaming at a ghost. “My feelings haven’t changed either!”

            “I’m being such an idiot, aren’t I? I know what I say won’t change anything, huh? It’s just that…when I told you I loved you…you looked so surprised…as if you expected that no one would ever love you. I guess it’s like…almost like, Kraehe from “The Prince and the Raven”. Princess Kraehe so desperately tried to win the Prince’s love again and again, and he always left her heartbroken. Except, she didn’t show that. She tried to please the Monster Raven and just found a new way to seduce the Prince. I guess I could be like that, too… except I made the mistake of telling you my feelings. Princess Kraehe never told the Prince that she was in love with him…”

            “What do you know about love?” she almost screamed it in her defense.

            “I don’t know. Love isn’t a factual thing, so I very well can’t research it…like Drosselmeyer. It’s really the only thing I don’t know about. But I do know how lonely it is to feel a lack of it. Without you, I feel like no one will ever love me. It’s funny. The world is so big, and there are so many people, but I feel like none of them could ever love me because I’m so strange. I feel like I was destined to be in love with you…”

            Autor walked towards Rue, until he was face to face with her. Rue’s mouth gaped open.

            “You must really love him, huh? But I love you, please don’t forget that.”

            “GO AWAY!!! IDIOT! I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SUCK IT UP LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND FACE THIS FUCKED UP WORLD? This is not some sort of fairy tale where everyone ends up happily ever after in the end! The story is dead! Move on!”

            Autor felt his world go crashing down. He didn’t know what he had just said, or why he had said it. Now, he had just lost all hope of ever being at least friendly with Rue. He didn’t know what to do. Although, this was fitting for him. He was Autor. He was not destined to write the great story, nor was he destined to end up with the princess.

            That is what the story had intended for him.

            “I’m sorry I bothered you. Good-bye, Rue-san,” Autor pushed up his glasses and slowly walked out the door.

            Click. Pause. Silence.

            Rue slumped down to the ground, in the comfort of her own library. A single tear fell to the ground.

            That was not what the story had intended for her.